I was searching for a morning snack when a man walked past me and grabbed a Wall Street Journal.
“I don’t know if I even want to look,” he said, shaking the paper as he looked at the little line graph that went down and down. This was the day after one of the worst market failures in a long time, spurred on by a European Union that is looking more and more like a neighborhood that used to be but just isn’t so much anymore.
“My iPad sends me little market notifications,” I told him. “Each day it’s just one thing after another.” I’ll be doodling my little heart out and suddenly doodeedoop—Dow finishes down nearly 2%, everybody has less money now; doodeedoop—Credit rating agency downgrades 15 major global banks, you didn’t actually give these people your money, did you?; doodeedoop—Global economic collapse…you know what, just go back to bed.
(If you noticed, these notifications show up while I’m drawing, meaning I I’m an art guy, not a money guy. Just like the near constant “bird flu’s a commin’, everyone gonna die” media blitz from several years ago, I have very little concept of what any of this actually means, I just know it’s a “not good” thing.)
“We should just buy Greece…turn it into just a big tourist destination,” the man said. “It can’t cost much at this point. Who’s the guy who just bought that Hawaiian island?”
“Larry Ellison at Oracle,” I told him with a grin.
“Right. One guy can buy Hawaii, surely our country can afford Greece.”
I couldn’t help but wonder, how much would Greece cost? In the game Monopoly you can always negotiate a ridiculously lopsided deal with someone who is desperate to stay in the game. Greece has to be beyond desperate since all their cards are flipped over and they keep landing on that stupid income tax space every time they pass Go. Maybe it wouldn’t take our government, maybe Larry Ellison could afford Greece all on his own (probably with his Free Parking money). If we are talking tourist destinations, maybe biggest name in tourism should throw in their hat. Their Mickey ears hat. Just imagine, Disney’s Greece. They tried and failed to build Disney’s America, maybe it’s time to take another shot at dropping the brand on an entire country. They could build attractions like a classic Aristotle-themed dark ride, Alexander the Great’s escape and a spectacular pageant of nighttime god and goddesses in thousands of sparkling lights and electro-synthe-magnetic musical sounds.
I’m planning to out maneuver both Larry Ellison and Disney though. I told the increasingly depressed man flipping through the paper that I was going to have to call an emergency meeting at work. “Boys, you know how this company is looking for stuff to add to the catalog? I’m thinking Greece. I’m telling you, I’ve got chills! They’re multiplyin! It’s the one that we want! Ooo ooo ooo!”