Eternal misery to the Disney fan community

The moon sat low. Concealed in the crags of the California coastline, the men huddled, teeth chattering, bones clattering, within the dimly lit cave. The fire beneath the cauldron grew, putting the slimy rock to sickly yellow light. The chanting of the powerful men grew louder…

“Double double, toil and trouble! We’ll reduce your mem’ries to rubble!!!”

As their voices swelled the bare stone responded in kind, the rolling echo climbing the walls. The men, powerful executives, swayed and swooned in their cloaks with their chant—we’ll reduce your mem’ries to rubble—rising and falling again and again. A shriek could be heard somewhere, yet nowhere, slowly crawling into the cavernous darkness, and it was from that darkness that Disney CEO Michael Eisner emerged.

The voices were now deafening. Eisner raised his hands and the chanting Disney Board members and lead Imagineers fell deathly silent.

“Gentlemen,” he bellowed. “Long have we awaited this moment. All of our careful planning and plotting, our dream of bringing eternal misery to the Disney fan community will soon be realized!!”

“Zip-a-dee-doo-dah,” the men called in unison, their voices low and menacing.

“This year,” the CEO growled, “this year of 1998 will be the end of all happiness for each and every Disney fan! By the end of 1999, my dear gentlemen, our glorious task will be complete!!!!”

“Zip-a-dee-ay.”

The executives of both the Disney Studios and Walt Disney Imagineering reignited their chanting, “Double double, toil and trouble! We’ll reduce your mem’ries to rubble!!!” Their voices were drowned out only by Michael Eisner’s maniacal laughter as a green fog billowed from the cauldron…

Between 1998 and 1999 at Walt Disney World, Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride, the Skyway and Horizons all closed and the new Imagination opened.

True story.

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